Its 1.30am in the morning and i find it hard to close my eyes.

Tears seems to keep streaming out from my eyes and its clogging my nasal and making it harder to breath.

The night felt so dark and quiet that i can feel my heart throbbing in anguish and aches.

Thinking back, is it worth to love?

When all you get at the end of the day are just heart-aches and puffy eyes.

Yes, yes here it goes again, I feel the way I felt when my fb went steady. Or discovering the sober truth about someone i like, likes someone else.

I am just wondering, whose fault is it? Isn't love made to be beautiful? But its so hard when you keep on loving with no returns.

Yes, yes, look at the Lord, He did it. That's how I find Jesus is so great and His love is an agape love. He can love everyone and die for all of us despite knowing the facts that some of us may not feel the same way.

But now I am focusing on my own pain, instead of looking up on Him i look down on myself. Here you go again, another false hope. Another heart ache. Another feeling of abandonement.

I just need to get this out of my chest, so that i can breath again, so i can move on. I have been here before, many times, I should know how to cope with this feeling.

But will this make me continue to fall for the same thing? To let my heart be bare, to let someone touch it and makes me fall in love again and again..but at the end of it will i get hurt again when that someone chooses someone else.

What a battle, but I cant help to feel this way. I am a mere human who is made to love, to feel, to care, to admire, shall i stop it so that i will not get hurt anymore, or should I continue till I leave this earth.

With that effect, yes, I know you have been avoiding me, please dont do that..I have moved on as well so we can still be friends :) and dont worry whatever you did for me, I know its because you love me as Jesus did and I will not mistaken it or be misled by your friendship.

With the others that had been creating opportunities for us..please dont do that.. especially when it is not mutual, because you will end up hurting people like me :) and all those teasing and all those poking, please stop (unless its mutual ah, then i get the sign.. >"<)!! The Bible talks about building each other up !!

Okay now I can go to sleep already. I feel so much better!! HaAAAAHhhhh (get it all out of my chest!!)


ps: for the rest that reads, please excuse me, I am just being emo..